Eden Project

The best one-liner Christmas cracker jokes

No Christmas day would be complete without crackers – and the shared groan around the table when the terrible jokes are read out.

Apparently crackers haven’t always been about bad puns and one-liners. The first Christmas crackers, in the mid-1800s, included a hand-written love motto. Later on they included verse by famous poets such as Shakespeare, Wordsworth, as well as humorous rhymes and couplets from the top writers of the day.

But in true homage to the one-liners and puns, here are the team’s favourite Christmas jokes. We’ve even managed to find some garden-related ones for you. Have a read and let us know your favourite Christmas jokes!

1. Why does Santa have three gardens?
   So he can ‘ho ho ho’
2. What did Father Christmas say to his wife when he looked out of the window?
   Looks like reindeer
3. What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
   It’s Christmas, Eve
4. What happens if you eat too many Christmas decorations?
   You get tinsel-itis.
5. What do English teachers call Santa’s little helpers?
   Subordinate Clauses
6. Why is a foot a good Christmas present?
   It makes a great stocking filler
7. How does King Wenceslas like his pizza?
   Deep and crisp and even
8. How does an Eskimo fix his house?
   Igloos it together
9. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
   Frostbite
10. What kind of music do elves like best?
    Wrap music

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A Time of Gifts Calendar, Celebrations

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A Time of Gifts, Christmas, Fun